What Makes a Good Man? Hyderabad Speaks Up

Hyderabad: People in Hyderabad were asked on International Men’s Day to answer a deceptively simple question about what makes a good man and the replies revealed more than expected.Abhishek P, an IT consultant in the city, said, “A good man today listens, supports, stays aware of the world around him,” and surprisingly to that he added that men must recognise “the power of empathy” along with the long history of bias created by patriarchy. A few women also answered. Esha said, “Men have a problem with everything that’s not glorifying their ego, that should go ,” while Samriti said “a good man shows vulnerability” and tries to live equality instead of talking about it.International Men’s Day this year ran with the theme ‘Celebrating Men and Boys’ and Hyderabad saw greetings from police commissioner C.V. Anand along with brand campaigns that focused on friendship, breaking stereotypes and honest healthy communication this time. “Tired of the ‘men-will-be-men’ campaigns. Grow up,” noted Esha. Writer and activist Rekha Raj in a famous blog wrote how patriarchal ideals push men to “continuously prove their masculinity” and produce “higher gender expectations,” which many respondents recognised in their own routines.On the same line, Sabyasachi said “a good man today shows kindness without mistaking it for weakness,” and he urged men to “check up on your dudes.” Arinjoy added that “respect for every individual” anchors everything, and Krish said values and integrity matter to him.Researchers and clinicians have been tracking these pressures for years and psychiatrists have often noted that men are reluctant to seek help when stress builds, because they mistake that for weakness. A Lancet study reported a steep rise in male suicide deaths in India during the past decade and married men died at around three times the rate of married women, although women get more suicidal thoughts. A counsellor from a weekend support group in the city said they receive “around 20 new distress calls every week,” mostly from workers who fear sudden job loss. He said, “Most people coming to us now are IT employees” and added that “AI is taking over, jobs are uncertain,” which matches national concerns. Bell hooks once wrote that patriarchy pushes boys “to feel pain and to deny their feelings,” and Karthikeya S., who is in his early twenties, echoed that when he said many men “grapple with self-worth” after failing to meet the scripts attached to roles like son and brother.Several young respondents also pointed to Netflix’s Adolescent while discussing shame, comparison and online pressure. Many spoke of role models and one respondent said Zohran Mamdani feels “caring and accountable, he makes a good man. No?.” Another praised Rahul Dravid for his calm presence and said Virat Kohli’s openness around stress and feelings are important. Nina said, “Femininity shouldn’t be treated as weakness,” and Abhishek felt men should embrace qualities long-labelled feminine, while Reddit threads in India have started debates around a concerning rise of incel slang among young users.The counsellor who speaks to distressed men said, “Yes, we need more awareness… we have limited resources but we try,” and many residents believe these conversations help men name emotions that once felt forbidden.



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