Phew! That was close! Whether or not the “12-Day War” was an elaborate hoax pulled on the watching world by a bunch of manipulative, self- seeking, power-crazed megalomaniacs or psychopaths playing “mine is bigger than yours”, only history will tell. But while it lasted, a terror- stricken world quaked and cowered, recited last prayers… numbly waiting for doomsday. If, after subjecting humanity to such unspeakable anxiety in this fateful period, President Donald Trump is indeed awarded the coveted Nobel Peace Prize, the Nobel itself should be globally boycotted. If anybody has earned the Peace Nobel, it is us — the innocent victims of dangerous wargames played by proxy by a bunch of self-destructive madmen. At the end of the dramatic, and possibly orchestrated, fireworks display, what exactly was achieved? Anything? Forget the gobbledygook presented by mighty defence analysts, anchors, columnists, political thinkers, strategists and, worst of all, politicians. Does anybody remember or care what was said, predicted and finely analysed by the best brains on earth? So much obfuscation and high-sounding prose designed to confuse and scare simple minds (mine!). Think back on the past week: was even a single genius right? Had the needle really moved? What has shifted or changed in real terms? Are we going to survive the next Crusades, as Christian countries unite to defeat the Muslim world to resolve a Jewish problem?The sworn, historic enemies are still at loggerheads. Innocents continue to die. Donald Trump has not stopped bragging. And the power axis remains where it was. Possibly, the angriest people during this messy “war” were irate passengers stuck for days at airports, as international airlines frantically cancelled flights while several countries abruptly closed their airspace and scrambled to find new routes. The only “beneficiaries” were content creators who had a field day given the rich material available to keep the meme industry in business for weeks. The most shared image was of Donald Trump meditating, clad in Buddhist robes, with a peace dove near his feet. The caption read: “The Lie Lama”. We desis added an extra line: Nobel Jugaad Prize Contestant 2026. Marcus Tullius Cicero, the mercurial Roman statesman, lawyer, scholar, philosopher, orator, writer, innovator of what was known as “Ciceronian rhetoric”, was assassinated at the behest of Mark Antony. His severed head and hands were displayed on the rostra. His words ring alarm bells till today: “Those wars are unjust which are undertaken without provocation. For only a war waged for revenge or defence can be just.” So… what was this pointless 12-day war about? Revenge? Defence? Who won?While unattractive men in ill-fitting suits continue to play phallic games of one-upmanship, an exasperated world watches the futile drama helplessly. As for me, I am relying on Roman philosopher Seneca’s stoic philosophy to maintain my sanity while paying close attention to Aesop’s wise words: “A crust eaten in peace is better than a banquet partaken in anxiety.” Onto more cheerful things! The fashion world was all aflutter this week, waging its own war. Italian fashion house Prada had the nerve to parade models sporting “our” Kolhapuri chappals during the much-awaited Men’s Wear Show in Milan. Hold your horses, dearies. Suddenly everyone’s getting all pouty and possessive about the Kolhapuri chappal? A tough, hardy, hand-crafted chappal from the 12th century, which is worn across Maharashtra? Why? It’s cultural appropriation without acknowledging the source, huff irate fashion police. Since when did Western designers ever acknowledge “Made in India” — which they have been stealing shamelessly, and exploiting, for decades? Forget the Prada Kolhapuris (Rs 1.2 lakhs), what about the Basmati Rice blazers (Rs 1.66 lakhs)? Or “souvenir bags” made from discarded gunny sacks with Chetak Sweets or Vimal Sarees printed on them? Both selling briskly at top-end, snobby stores. Rs 8,000, for familiar grocery bags our breadwallahs carry? Upcycling? No, honey. Plain thieving!The LVMH show itself was informally dubbed a “Touch of India” … Excuse me? It was not just a touch! It was a full-on embrace. From the Snakes and Ladders motif that dominated a set created by architect Bijoy Jain’s “Studio Mumbai”, to A.R. Rahman’s original track Yaara, co-composed with musician-fashion director Pharrell, the show screamed “India”. I had my own little giggle when I saw male models wheeling out madly- priced bejewelled LV trunks — the kind we find at Delhi Haat and handicraft bazars in Rajasthan. And yes, the Kolhapuri chappal is GI tagged. Does Prada care? Will our talented cobblers sue Prada? More fool any Indian idiotic enough to shell out Rs 1.2 lakhs for these chappals. Come with me to Colaba Causeway, guys. I’ll find you a far superior pair for Rs 750. How do I know? I have been wearing Kolhapuri chappals most of my adult life — my ancestors are from Kolhapur. The PRIDE Month ends this weekend with a parade in New York. A high- profile parade which used to boast of prestigious, big-ticket corporates as sponsors. Post-Trump, the LGBTQI+ community is feeling let down with biggies like Mastercard, PepsiCo and Citigroup withdrawing support, fearing a right-wing backlash in the US. With dwindling allies, PRIDE has taken a big hit for the first time after the parades were introduced across the world ten years ago. With PRIDE getting decimated, all we are left with is prejudice. A tragic turn of events driven by intolerance and insensitivity.But here’s some good news from the Big Apple: 33-year-old Zohran Kwame Mamdani has done it — created history by defeating former governor Andrew M. Cuomo in the Democratic primary for NYC mayor. The former rap singer (son of filmmaker Mira Nair and academic Mohammed Mamdani) wooed his constituency via a brilliant social media campaign, in which the multi-linguist recited dialogues from Deewar, spoke in Bengali and started his appeal in shudh Hindustani with “Bhaiyon aur behenon…” Touted as the first Leftist, Muslim mayor of South Asian origin, Zohran is already an international star! He has promised to increase funding to fight hate crimes. This, along with his strong appeal to the large swathe of Bangladeshis, Pakistanis and Indians, propelled his convincing lead over his stuffy, pro-establishment, monied 67-year-old rival. Youth. Guts. Hard work. Belief. Group Captain Shubhanshu Shukla, 39, has taken India into an exciting new orbit as mission pilot of the Axiom-4 space capsule, 41 years after Wing Commander Rakesh Sharma’s flight on the Soviet Soyuz T-11. “The tricolour on my shoulder tells me I’m not alone. I am with all of you,” he said, signalling the start of India’s human space flight programme. Move over, old guard. The world has changed!
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